Dry: A Memoir

By Augusten Burroughs

The 10th Anniversary variation of the hot York instances bestselling e-book that has bought over part one million copies in paperback.

"I used to be hooked on "Bewitched" as a child. I worshipped Darren Stevens the 1st. while he'd come domestic from paintings and Samantha may say, ‘Darren, do you want me to mend you a drink?' He'd consistently leisure his briefcase at the desk lower than the reflect within the lobby, wipe his brow with a monogrammed handkerchief and say, ‘Better make it a double.'" (from bankruptcy Two)

You won't are aware of it, yet you could have met Augusten Burroughs. you might have visible him in the street, in bars, at the subway, at eating places: a twentysomething man, great go well with, works in ads. standard. usual. but if the normal individual had beverages, Augusten was once circling the drain by means of having twelve; while the normal individual went domestic in the dark, Augusten by no means went domestic in any respect. Loud, distracting ties, computerized wake-up calls and cologne at the tongue may possibly purely disguise quite a bit for therefore lengthy. on the request (well, it wasn't quite a request) of his employers, Augusten lands in rehab, the place his desires of crew remedy with Robert Downey Jr. are instantly dashed by means of grim truth of fluorescent lights and paper health facility slippers. but if Augusten is pressured to check himself, whatever really begins to click on and that is while he reveals himself within the worst difficulty of all. simply because whilst his thirty days are up, he has to come to his related drunken new york life―and stay it sober. What follows is a memoir that is as relocating because it is humorous, as heartbreaking because it is correct. Dry is the tale of affection, loss, and Starbucks as a better Power.

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I'm stoic. i'm Joan of Arc, with liver harm and an unused penis. “Are you going to conferences? ” he asks whilst I inform him approximately Foster relocating again in with the Brit and Pighead being in a loose fall. “Ha,” I snicker. My existence has develop into a sequence of selections in accordance with triage. “I don’t have the time. in addition to, you’re now not one to speak about AA. You went each day and glance what occurred to you. ” Hayden is now evidence to me that AA is crap. “I wouldn’t have relapsed in New York,” he says. “I had a sober community there. right here, good, I don’t have whatever. ” “Bullshit,” I say. “You selected to relapse. You didn’t need to. ” I hate it whilst alcoholics relapse after which act like a person reduce the brake traces on their vehicles. “I believe it was once build up. i assume it was once inevitable. ” i'm wondering if it’s build up in me? i ponder if i might be capable of inform? i ponder if the truth that i have to ask yourself is my resolution. “I’m now not anxious approximately Pighead,” I inform him. He’s quiet for a second and that i swear i will pay attention the Atlantic Ocean churning over the telephone strains, even if I discover they aren’t strains yet satellite tv for pc indications. So probably it’s interstellar airborne dirt and dust motes banging round. “I don’t recognize if that’s a superb factor or not,” he says eventually. “I don’t believe something, actually,” I indicate. “Hmmmmm,” he says. i do know precisely what he ability. Then remembering anything, I ask Hayden, “Where do whales move once they die? ” “They seashore themselves,” he says instantly. “Oh,” I say. “You particularly should visit a gathering, Augusten. I’m telling you this as a person who has lately imbibed and who's now counting days once more and steeping in his personal distress. ” i need to invite him if it used to be a little bit bit enjoyable, a bit worthy it. “It was once relatively lousy, huh? ” “You see? ” Hayden explodes into the telephone. “You’re asking procuring questions. you must comprehend if it used to be relatively lousy in place of semiawful. I swear, Augusten, I’m apprehensive. visit a gathering. Don’t drink. ” Hayden is tense me. I had no purpose of ingesting. He’s the one that bought smashed within the instances sq. of London. He’s the person who threw his sobriety opposed to the wall and now has to head freshen up the mess. All i need to do is switch a number of diapers. • • • Greer isn't happy while I inform her, over the telephone, that i'm taking a depart of absence. yet as a result cause, she is pressured to chew her tongue. most likely actually. most likely it really is bleeding. “Well, that’s an exceptional factor you’re doing,” she says, like i've got volunteered to serve turkey to homeless humans within the Bowery. “I’m a bit late,” I say with a few disgust at myself. “Late for what? ” “Late for displaying him that i really supply a shit. overdue for every little thing. ” “It’s by no means too late,” Greer chimes. I photo her donning a horribly pricey sweater made by way of a seven-year-old Cambodian orphan with head lice. “I’m convinced you’re assisting. ” “How’s the Nazi? ” I ask, altering the topic to whatever impartial. “He was once livid that the tune condominium sought after 40 grand. He sought after us to ‘Jew them down. ’ ” “He didn’t say that. ” “Oh convinced, he did. His special phrases.

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